If I could turn back time, I’d tell my younger self to chill out for a few years. I was so anxious about throwing myself out there in the world of love and sex that I often neglected well-needed time to discover who I was and what mattered most to me. But just because we haven’t found a way to travel through time doesn’t mean I can’t learn from the past. There are loads of advice I’d give my younger self. Here are just a few:
#1) Never do anything drunk you wouldn’t do sober (and if you’re not sure about that, wait till you’re sober).
#2) If they talk trash about all the guys they’ve slept with, walk away. They’re going to talk about you the same way to someone else.
#3) Always aim to GIVE more than you receive. It will inspire him to meet you there.
#4) Kissing is NEVER permission to do everything. Never let a man think he can go all the way just because you start making out. It’s your decision.
#5) Never have “pity sex” with someone you feel obligated to. Have respect for your body, and also have a bit of dignity for Christ’s sake.
#6) Not every position is going to be 100% comfortable. We’re all shaped differently, so speak up if you know that crazy position he found online does not compliment your body.
#7) Don’t be insecure about your body during sex. He knows what you look like. Clearly he doesn’t care because he chose to have sex with you, so let loose and focus on the experience.
#8) Never shame another gay man because he has wider limits and boundaries than you. Just because he’s comfortable with one-night stands doesn’t give you permission to judge him.
#9) Enjoying anal pleasure doesn’t mean you’re “feminine” or less of a man. It means you’re open and eager to explore other forms of pleasure. Don’t be scared.
#10) Just because a guy is the DJ of some hot club, or drives a fancy car, or has lots of connections at your favorite spots does not mean he’s a catch. It especially doesn’t mean he’ll be good at sex.
#11) If you have sex with a celebrity, the only person you should tell is your best friend. No one else will believe you.
#12) When a guy pressures you, you’re always going to feel worse if you cave in.
#13) Know how to Kiss & Tell properly. Leave out major details (no one really wants to hear). Don’t reveal his darkest secrets to your best friends. That’s not nice.
#14) If a boy wants to keep your encounters discrete, you should respect his wishes for as long as your heart can hold. You never know what his situation is.
#15) Never put up with selfish lovers. If he is all about himself, it’s a total reflection on his character. Say bye-bye!
#16) When a man is playing “hard to get” by giving you the cold shoulder, he’s not worth it.
#17) Don’t knock anything till you try it at least three times. Only then are you able to truly make up your mind.
#18) Not every man is going to know how to pleasure you right. Most of the time you’re going to have to play teacher.
#19) Never be afraid to tell a man what he’s doing wrong.
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