Do you want to become Bottom? Or do you want to be better Bottom? Here are some thoughts
Anal penetration is the very centre of gay sex. There are two parties in that act. Today we will discuss the Bottom side of anal penetration. However, this is not just for gay bottoms. Tops, please pay some attention. You might be dominating (in most cases), but the best sex is one that both sides enjoy the most.
Now you can with this helpful and practical guide to taking it like a champ! Does not matter in what size or shape it might come at you.
Before we get stuck into sticking it in, we always support and suggest safer sex. Read this guide to PrEP. I know that many of you will be laughing, but it is responsible for recommending always to use condoms. Your and your partner’s health must be above everything else.
A bottom is sometimes referred to as the passive role or ‘pitcher’ (versus a ‘catcher’ or a top), and is the lucky guy that gets penetrated, gets f**ked, takes it up the rear, gets a cock in their ass, the penis in the anus.
We hope that’s a bit clearer now? Great, read on for all the facts and info on bottoming as well as a debunking of all the common myths.
Personal preference, genetics or something else. Who knows?
A study by University of Toronto Mississauga found that men who showed more masculine personality traits were likely to be tops. On the other side those who had feminine traits were often bottoms. I personally always thought that is the “natural” way.
Among gay men, variation in gender nonconformity appears to correspond with variation in anal sex role behaviour.
“Specifically, gay men with an insertive anal sex role (i.e., tops) scored higher on masculine personality traits compared to males with a receptive (i.e., bottom) anal sex role preference.
Conversely, bottoms scored higher on feminine personality traits compared to tops”
Those who participated in the study were recruited either through Facebook or at the Toronto Pride festival, and the researchers compared a gay and straight sample of men.
Interestingly, there was no difference in terms of age found between the participants.
What about stereotypes?
The most common stereotype for a bottom is a younger guy with little body hair, who is on the camp side of the spectrum. However, stereotypes must be taken with a pinch of salt and only account for a relatively small percentage of the truth. However, we must admit that the above stereotype is prevalent among tops. In other words, if you fit into that stereotype as a bottom, you will get more hits on your Grindr. I know this is not politically correct but…
Indeed, lots of bottoms follow the stereotype above. However, many bottoms are big beefy daddies, hyper-masculine military dudes and everything in between. I am not arguing with that fact. However, I find it very hard to perceive someone with a beard, hairy chest, and asshole as a bottom. Sorry folks, but I would not pick one like that—neither in a gay bar, gay sauna or Grindr. We are what we are. No, we were not born to be politically correct. Those educated to be politically correct should ask their teachers for their money back.
All those reasons not to be a bottom!
“Anal penetration hurts too much, and it will be dirty; his dick is too big…”
People who state these “reasons” are a bit confused, poorly informed or had some stupid, selfish motherfucker as their partner when they tried to bottom for the first time.
Tops, pay attention to this! Your partner’s hole is not a sex doll. It does not matter if you are having a quickie or trying to start a new relationship. Sex is making love. Not a competition. Patience and mutual respect should be standard for all those willing to be classified as human beings. Don’t be an asshole!
The first time a man has anal sex is often painful. It’s a new thing that is happening to your body. The muscles don’t know what is happening, and you don’t know how to breathe into the action. Or how to relax and contract your ass muscles. What do you need to feel relaxed and ready for anal penetration? The answer is – TRUST. If you trust your partner, you can relax and turn that little pain into a particular pleasure.
But trust many of my partners – bottoming gets more accessible and pleasurable as you understand and know your own body.
How to be a good Bottom? Beauties of anal penetration
Some things about being at the bottom make it harder than being the top. The top is generally ready for anal penetration as soon as his penis is erect. That is assuming that his penis is maintained and clean. Don’t be a pig!
There’s certainly a lot more preparation to do, and it can be a bit bewildering if you’re new to it. But all these things are part of a common knowledge. And common sense, I guess.
If you’re scared about things getting dirty, learn how to douche. Please research anal douching, as it might have unwanted side effects. The bottom line is – it means washing with warm water. IMPORTANT: Clearing yourself will make you more confident and relaxed before and during anal penetration. It is also essential for bottoms and tops to understand that cleaning (including douching) is not 100% guaranteed against some dirty stuff being pulled out on the top’s penis. It is simply the nature of anal sex. There is no reason to make a drama out of that for either partner. Nothing is perfect.
The bottom can douche either with water from the shower (with the shower head removed) or with a pre-bought douching device or ‘bulb.’ The “bulb” is a much better option, but many bottoms are reluctant to get one. When using the shower, it is essential to know that you must control water pressure.
Diet and exercise
Eating a fibre-rich diet is more likely to make you feel like your bowel movements are ‘complete. And therefore, you are more confident about having your ass clean for anal penetration.
Anal Penetration – How to take that cock?
When is the right time to take your partner’s cock? Make sure you are as relaxed as possible. Being feminine and passive (bottom) does not mean you have no say in the bed. Extended foreplay is the best way to relax and take that big cock like a pro. Make sure that both partners enjoy extended foreplay. Young and inexperienced tops might be rushing in fear of premature ejaculation. That is not true. Help your top relax. You want his sperm in you rather than being spilled over your bedsheets. Make each other comfortable.
Do some exercises. Learn to use your ass muscles. When the tip of your partner’s penis starts to enter you, push out your sphincter.
Expand and contract this muscle. Each time you do, you’ll find that his cock will go in a bit more – and most importantly – it’ll go in more easily. It is your way to control things and maximise the pleasure of anal penetration known to bottoms only.
There is no universal advice when it comes to sexual positions. As a top and dominant (not rough), I am relaxed with the starting position. It is always a choice I give to my bottom(s). That helps them relax and choose the position that is most comfortable for them. As things heat up, I will take control, and you can bet that the climax will be in a missionary position with your legs resting on my shoulders. I have had no complaints so far.
Regardless of being bottom or top, be respectful to each other and try to enjoy sex and anal penetration together.
